I know, I know, some of my friends are probably rolling their eyes at me for this because they’ve “been there, done that,” as I jump up and down, squealing like a silly little girl who just got her first quarter from the tooth fairy…or in my case, the first time I saw, “Alien.” These expressions of joy are NOT examples of the proper decorum of an author, who are, of course, notorious for their absolute coolness.
But, when you’ve been dreaming of writing, finishing, and publishing a book since you lost your first tooth and you finally did it 35 years later, yeah, guess what? Fuck cool!
I’ll be cool later.
Some responded to the news with, “Wha? I didn’t even know you were writing a book in the first place!” (Or “I didn’t even know you knew how to read,” from the more sarcastic company I keep). That’s because I learned a long time ago that an idea is worth its own Fort Knox. It’s a seed that can grow into a massive forest, a swamp, a fruit tree, a weed, or if you’re lucky, something indefinable. Regardless of the sprout, it’s part of your identity and destiny, whether it be prosperous or a learning experience. Either way, it belongs to you, alone, and I regrettably learned long ago that sharing an idea prematurely can bring about horribly heartbreaking consequences. Therefore, I kept this project pretty well under wraps, only warning a very precious few who are related to me.
But, alas — I have a barcode! And you know it’s official when you got the ISBN, baby!! LOL!
My monster is called “Cleaners,” and it’s a kind of thriller, I guess. I’ve spent the past year and a half or so creating this world 150 years into the future where everyone has the right to vote, the right to assembly, and the right to commit murder.
One free murder, per year, to be exact – thanks to the freshly assassinated dictator of the United States nicknamed, “The Red Queen,” who designated a special holiday for it.
Yeah, I know, not exactly the type of material expected from a priestess, but I have always found that light is best illuminated in the dark, yes? (Go ask Alice Cooper).
Anyway, I just submitted “Cleaners” to Amazon for publishing. In a few weeks, Goddess willing, after the proof is approved, it will be available for sale.
I got off the phone with my 70 year old dad, because it’s dedicated to him and well…he’s my dad. When I gave him my news, he responded, “Oh my god, that’s so wonderful! But, it’s not a real book or anything, right?”
I laughed, “Yes, dad, it is. There’s a front cover, a back cover, and paper in between with my stuff on it.”
“What is it a pap smear?”
“DAD! It’s a real book!”
He paused and said, “Wow. I’m so happy for you. Bar code and everything?”
“Bar code and everything, Da…”