I love men. I really, genuinely do!
I believe people are primarily good and I believe that more often than not, we all do the wrong things for the right reasons. I’m also aware that the title is grossly generalizing and I apologize. It could very well say, “The Sadistic Ways Men break up with Men” or “Women Break Up with Women” and so on, I know. However, in my profession and life travels, I do find these cruel and unusual behaviors illustrated here are typically committed as the title suggests. However, here’s the irony:
They don’t think so.
The guilty parties honestly believe that just “fading away” or creating drama is just another way to “let them down easy.” Obviously these men have never listened in on the conversations between these women and their friends…or their psychics.
I love my job and I am honored and so grateful every time my phone rings. But, man, sometimes I wish I could back charge the guys responsible for every time I get, “He just stopped calling me, what happened?”
Or “When’s he coming back?”
And “I don’t understand, I see him with that other girl, but I still feel a connection.”
Or even, “I don’t know if we’re together or not.”
And the all-time prize-winning gut-wrencher, “What did I do wrong?”
Now, granted every situation’s different, I understand that. Everyone’s an individual and everyone handles things a little differently, on the whole. But, believe it or not, unfortunately, these sadistic situations happen a lot more often than we’d like to think.
I have been asked on more than one occasion as to whether there is a spiritual or celestial phenomenon that makes this happen. Although there’s no “coward” planet that can transit into Uranus or anything of that nature, there is great power at work involved:
A “W.I.L.” – a Woman In Love.
Totally different animal, more enchanting than a tiger more ferocious than a teenage girl. There is no force more deep-rooted, more focused, or more determined than a W.I.L. It is unlike anything in existence and to come in actual contact with one takes patience, art, skill, and understanding. When a woman falls in love, she becomes a deaf, dumb, and blind romantic train with only one track, mega-tons of stubborn steel, that rolls straight on full-speed ahead without even being remotely aware of the stations she’s passing, the land she’s crossing, or even where she’s going. The object of her affections, the mighty “He” becomes her “It” and everything else in her existence melts away from the heat of her passion and drowned out by the thunderous beat of her heart.
In other words, she pretty much catches a good case of “Crazy.”
Talking to her isn’t so much a dialogue as it is kinda joining in on her monologue when you get an opening. She’s talking about “It.” She’s thinking about “It.” She’s doing things for “It.” And she wants to know every single little thing about “It” because she has completely melded herself into “It,” therefore her greatest fear is losing “It.”
What’s that horrible song title, “You’re Nobody Until Somebody Loves You?” Now what kind of crap is that, I wonder? Of course you’re somebody! You’re always somebody! Everyone’s somebody, single or not, but you’re gonna have a helluva time trying to convince that Woman In Love otherwise, though…The “It” is now become the center of her universe and if he hurts, she’ll say “Ow,” and if he’s got gas, she’ll pass it.
So, in a way, in the sadist’s defense, I wouldn’t be so hard pressed to play chicken with the train, either. However, what they don’t realize that in absolute most cases, that’s exactly what you need to do to truly secure your freedom and calm the savage W.I.L. beast.
Unfortunately, spinelessness seems to reign in this field and it is usually up to the exhausted best friends and us psychics to clean up the mess, sort out the puzzle, and remind the W.I.L. that she should never forget that she is always a Somebody.
Here are the Sadist’s Top Five Antics:
5) Stage a Coup – It’s the “I’ll make them fire me,” mentality behind this game. How it works is you get to know her schedule like the back of your hand, right? So, you know when she’ll be home, you know that she knows when you’ll be home, so instead of taking some time out of your schedule and have that “talk” with her, you make sure she walks in on you – Surprise! You’re packing your stuff and moving out OR (yes, it’s been done) Surprise! You’re screwing someone else in your bed.
Object: Send your W.I.L. through the roof and crush her dreams of you so irreparably that she throws you out so you don’t have to do the dirty work. Easy! And ya get a little entertainment out of it, too. Nice.
Result: Now, some W.I.L.’s will try to kill you. Some will just stare in shock. But in due time, the W.I.L. becomes confused. She thought everything was going fine. She had no idea. Wants to know why you didn’t tell her that you weren’t happy and then, inevitably between cursing your name and wishing you dead, she blames herself.
A piece of her has broken away without the humanity of closure. You won’t return her calls, so she calls a psychic.
4) Get Someone Else To Do The Deed – Yes, believe it or not, grown men still use this tactic after high school. The poor sucker who got suckered into taking on their buddy’s responsibility ends up facing the “W.I.L. Train” thinking that they’re actually doing their friend a favor. They hear their friend beg them while pleading, “I can’t handle breaking her heart! It’s too much for me and I won’t be able to go through with it.” Which makes one wonder why breaking up in the first place, but there could be a plethora of reasons which is a whole other blog to explore. Nevertheless, in this case, we’ve resorted to the “Playground Method of Resolutions.”
Object: Have someone else take the brunt of the explosion so you don’t have to.
Result: She won’t believe it. She’ll think this person’s just trying to make trouble or is just jealous. And then, she’ll want to hear it straight from the source.
But, you won’t return her calls, so she calls a psychic.
3) Just Go On With Life and Let Her Figure It Out – Now, this one’s kinda nasty. Takes a real narcissist to pull this one off, someone with absolutely no sense of empathy or regard for another human being. And how this works, is you start calling and texting her less frequently. Then you start dropping off the emoticons and the pet names. And when you do feel like taking her calls or calling her on your time, you make a point of letting her know you have other plans. And if you’re really an ass, you can even drop some women’s names when discussing those plans. Make sure you pull this off with some confidence, cuz nervousness doesn’t work very well. Ya gotta give it the ol’ “I’m totally in control” vibe so when she finally asks if there’s something wrong, you can say, “No, nothing’s wrong!” and really mean it.
Because you have everything you want. See? “Nothing’s wrong.”
Object: Once again, avoid the Train by having her realize that she’s no longer important to you. She’ll see that you’re drifting away, hopefully hating you a little in the process to make it easier on herself, and then she’ll gracefully bow out of your situation and you’ll be free.
Result: SHE GOES INSANE!! She’s been completely displaced from her sense of home with you for no reason, with no warning, no explanation and instead of just “gracefully bowing out” as you’d hope, you’re gonna get more calls. You’re gonna get more texts. She’s gonna drop by your house, then your work, then your parents and the more you avoid her, the crazier she gets so therefore, the crazier you get. Then you rationalize your actions by stating, “See? She’s frickin’ crazy!” And when she still doesn’t get the answers she needs as to what she may have done wrong to make you just toss her away…
…she calls a psychic.
2) Tell Her To Wait For You – Now, it’s true that sometimes there may be obligations to take care of on your own, like maybe going into the hospital or something, to which you may not be able to fulfill her needs while focused on your own. That makes a little sense. But, really what does, “Will you wait for me” really mean? What are you really saying? Maybe you think you’re mercifully leaving her a little piece of hope for a future with her someday. Maybe you think you’re telling her that she still matters to you even if you’re not actively a part of her life. Well, maybe on the planet Blandaar, perhaps, but here on Earth what you’re really saying is, “Don’t take care of your own needs for attention and affection while I do whatever I want.”
Object: Though not wanting all the responsibilities in being in a relationship, you secure your future with a stand-by in case you don’t find anything better.
Result: She waits. She loves you, so she waits, really thinking that you’re going to come back, sweep her into your arms and tell her she’s home. And more often than not, days turn into weeks, turn into months, and yes, even into years.
Madame Butterfly, baby. Madame frickin’ Butterfly. (Please Goddess, hopefully without the suicide).
Result: She gets older, more lonely, unfulfilled, thinking that’s she has a “kind of” boyfriend if anyone asks, but she’s not sure. She’s waiting so there’s still a “connection,” but it’s only on her end. She just wants to know when you’ll be back. But, you won’t return her calls, so she calls a psychic.
And now, for the number one Cruelest Break-Up Technique (usually) Used by Men:
1) Just Disappear – Yeah. Really. It combines the “best of” the top four, without the big drama of number 5, “Staging a Coup.” But, it does avoid conflict. It does avoid the dreaded unpleasantness of breaking someone’s heart. It avoids getting in front of the Train.
It really avoids responsibility.
Object: To drift away into oblivion until one day she’ll realize you’re gone and she’ll see that she’s free to do whatever she wants. She’ll stop calling and texting and life moves on gently with the wind.
Result: Are you kidding? Seriously? Do you really think this has anything to do with your being merciful to her? Don’t kid yourself. You do this for you. Your comfort, your convenience. Your cowardice.
Women are designed for detail. By understanding gestures and tones, they are able to determine whether something or someone is in need of care. This is an in-bred, human biological quality. If something just “disappears” the W.I.L. is programmed to realize something is wrong. Something is misplaced. She’s not gonna think, “Oh he’s just breaking up with me. Well, good luck to him! Guess I won’t have to worry about dinner.” No, she’s going to think something’s wrong with you. “Is he dead?” “Is he in the hospital?” “Did something happen?”
But, that’s after, “Is there another woman?”
That’s right — the monster threat. Another woman means, “I wasn’t good enough” or “I did something wrong.” Not, “Wow, I really dated a prick.” And as time goes on, the mystery is still unsolved as to why you disappeared, why you don’t want her anymore, what did she do wrong to make you leave her, and now she can’t move forward.
How can anyone move forward if they don’t understand where they’ve been or where they are?
She wonders if you still think about her. Did you stop loving her? Did you ever love her in the first place? Do you know that she still loves you?
When are you coming back?
She can’t make herself well because…
…A piece of her has broken away without the humanity of closure. You won’t return her calls, so she calls her psychic.
You know, on second thought, boys? I don’t want your money. However, I do believe there are women’s wellness services around the country that would be happy take donations, though! In the meantime, I will continue embrace my clients and do my job –
— or rather, your job.