Learning Astrology? Remember “I Love You”

Nothing responds to "I Love You" like the stars...Thankfully.

There’s a lot to remember when you’re learning Astrology  –  Which planet rules what, which aspect does which, what’s an node, where’s that house and what’s in it, all kinds of great fun.

I don’t pretend to be an expert, but I have enough of a clue to appreciate it and use it as a guide. After all, not all answers lie in one source, though I’m sure some zealots would disagree.

The real key to appreciating Astrology is understanding the personalities of the signs.  Finding a list of the traits for each is very easy.  They can be Googled online as well as found in any Astrology book for the beginner.  But, if you really want to understand the Psyche of the Sun Sign in action, think of how each of them would typically respond if you said, “I love you.”

Like this…

ARIES – key words: Impulsive, active, egocentric (or “Ready, Shoot, Aim”)

I love you, Aries “Oh, wow!  That’s awesome!  Oh, oh, I love you, too!  Let’s get married, RIGHT NOW!  Yeah!  We’ll go to Vegas and…oh, crap, I forgot…I’m already married.”

TAURUS – key words: Stable, patient, stubborn (until you piss them off…)

I love you, Taurus: “Really?  Oh, thank you, how nice!  I have a present for you…*waiting*…um, where’s mine?”

GEMINI – key words: Energetic, studious, indecisive (and they’ll even question that).

I love you, Gemini: “Oh my god, you do?  Oh, I love you, too…I mean, I think I do.  Maybe, I dunno.  Well, I definitely love parts of you…and there are times when I really, really do love you, but then there are those other times – but, then I think I want a career, instead…?”

CANCER – key words: Emotional, sentimental, moody (If they come out of their home, that is).

I love you, Cancer: *weeping with joy* “Oh, I love you, too!!  I’m so overwhelmed…to win your affections.  I’ll do everything in my power keep your love – unless you’re one of those bastards that’ll just use me and screw me over.  I dunno, are you??  Do you want to hurt me, too?!” *now weeping in heartbreak over the past*

LEO – key words: confident, show-stopping, expressive (and they’re really great at being humble).

I love you, Leo: “I KNOW!  But, don’t worry, I can’t wait to tell the world about our love, dearest!  The world is our oyster and you are my pearl and we will shine together, you and I!  Let’s do a pictorial blog about it…”

"Aw, really? Thanks! I love you, too...Where's my present?"

VIRGO – key words: generous, organized, worriers (in fact, they’re probably really nervous about what I’m gonna say next…)

I love you, Virgo: *sigh* “Oh, you do?  Oh, wow, I wasn’t expecting this.  Well, actually I was, but I wasn’t going to get my hopes up because I wasn’t too sure how you felt.  I mean, it’s not like you ever gave me a card or anything – because if you did, I would’ve kept it!  And I thought that was because maybe you were interested in someone else or you didn’t think I was pretty enough.  Do you think I’m pretty?  Do you?  Do you need money?  What do you need?”

LIBRA – key words: artistic, peacemaker, inert (peace at any cost – and it usually costs their sanity).

I love you, Libra: *pause* “Yeah? You do?” *pause* “Hey, I wrote a song…”

SCORPIO – key words: cunning, salacious, divisive (out of the 3 “water” signs, Scorpio’s the “ice” form).

I love you, Scorpio: *mischievous grin* “Really?  How nice…*checking you out* So, why don’t you come over here and show me how much, baby?  Oh don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.  Promisssssse….”

SAGITTARIUS – key words: wandering, philosophical, capricious (and belonging to nobody!)

I love you, Sagittarius: “Yay!  I love you, too.  It’s truly an experience being with you. I learn so much – I love that.  But, I have to go…Oh no, don’t worry, you still have my heart.  I have plenty of heart for everyone.  As Shakespeare says, ‘Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service…’ *kiss* But, now I have other services to attend to.  Ciou!”

CAPRICORN – key words: inventive, knowledgeable, controlling (they see the top of the mountain and will tell you exactly how you should get there…)

I love you, Capricorn: “Oh, that’s wonderful!  But, you could’ve used a little more creativity in saying it, don’t you think?  You know…like a sock puppet show!  Yeah, how long would it have taken you to make a couple of sock puppets and string up a sheet?  Hey, come to think of it, this could be a business venture, what do you think?  Yeah! Instead of singing telegrams, we can do ‘sock puppet grams!’  Here, take notes…”

AQUARIUS – key words: social, artistic, pragmatic (and they have to think about what they think).

I love you, Aquarius: “Okay, well, let’s discuss this.  Now, I’m not one for the whole Hallmark thing, so I appreciate you didn’t go there, but you do realize those are pretty serious words.  I mean, you do understand the commitment and the reality behind what you just said, right?  I certainly hope so.  Maybe we can discuss living arrangements, providing I can do the decorating…”

PISCES – key words: kind, clever, wishy-washy (and will almost always vote for the underdog).

I love you, Pisces: “Yeah?  Really?  Cool, thanks!  Wow, I almost feel like it’s someone else’s birthday or something because I know it’s not mine! Well, I love you, too…I think.  You sure?”

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About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, musician, divinationist, playwright, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure, is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and is pursuing her Master's in Journalism/Media Studies. All things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact: contact@theblacksiren.com
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2 Responses to Learning Astrology? Remember “I Love You”

  1. That is a perfect post! You got them all right on!

    Like

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