And here is where I may come across as an insensitive meanie.
I’m a student of human nature, as you know, and puzzle-solver. So, when a mystery is presented before me, I can’t resist going into “Agatha Christie” mode to try to figure it out – especially when it comes to people because I’m one of those nutballs that genuinely likes them.
But, here’s one I just can’t put my finger on: “I just broke up with my boyfriend. Do we have a future together?”
You would think this was rare. I would like to think this was rare. As a matter of fact, I’m almost shocked how “un-rare” this is. But, there it is…and it’s almost always a woman, though I’m sure men have been guilty of this, too. Regardless of what the cards say, usually one can figure out where the strange “logic” behind where the question is coming from. But, for the life of me, I’m stumped, I’m clueless, without an answer, blank.
I just don’t get it.
I think it’s a little different than “When are we going to get back together?” because, okay, usually, that’s just the loneliness or grief or the denial talking. Of course, there are times when you say things, they say things, things get said, things blow up, and the “break up” was actually more drama than anything else. But, there’s a big difference between that and “I just broke up with him. Are we going to get married?” or “I told him I never wanted to see him again. I don’t trust him. Will I ever get a commitment from him?”
It’s almost like speaking to a Love-Bot or someone in a trance: *monotone* “I love him I said go away I love him I told him no I love him…” from a totally different planet. And it would make a little sense if it was the partner that broke up with the client, but for Goddess sakes, you told him to go away! You told him it was over.
And you wanna know why he hasn’t called?? You told him not to!
And you wanna know if he’s seeing someone else? It’s not your business anymore!
Are you gonna get married? Do you have a future?
ARE YOU ON CRACK??!
You didn’t trust him. He didn’t make you happy. He didn’t fulfill your expectations. He smelled. Whatever the reason, you decided that this person does not belong in your life and you made the conscience choice to remove this entity from your immediate influence. You took control and exiled the unwanted entity accordingly. Good for you.
So, why the flying do you want them back??!
Wait, was it that this entity was not totally undesirable, but you just wanted to see if they’d miss you? Was it some kind of ego trip that you needed to see them beg and cry to win back your affections and it backfired. Did you shoot yourself in the foot when you realized that your jilted lover wasn’t going to play your game?
Or is it that you don’t care how bad things are, you just want that warm body in your bed?
Man oh man, that fear of being alone is a lethal one. I could slap the crap out of that person who came up with that horrible, “You’re nobody until somebody loves you” thing. What a terrible and very misleading message. As long as you exist, you are somebody. Period! True, humans are communal animals and naturally want to connect, but there are just some things in this world that are not worth selling your soul for and bad love isn’t worth anything!
Is that what this is about, fear of being alone? I don’t know. As I said, I’m clueless-party-of-one.
But, shoot, last I checked there were about a few billion people in this world. Thanks to modern technology, we’re able to connect with almost all of them, if we want to. You don’t think there’s bound to be at least one of those billion who’d find you attractive? Odds are in your favor, you know…
I can’t imagine how insensitive and wretched I must sound right now and I truly do apologize. Of course I know what it’s like to have a broken heart and feel alone. I think I can say that most human beings have been there, done that and there’s truly no torture in the world like it; It’s like a festering, slow death in the chest after being impaled with a hundred javelins. I don’t wish it on anyone. But, I can’t help but feel exasperated because I just simply can’t get past the fact that your pain was avoidable! Your “go away don’t leave me” mentality leaves me to believe that someone is hurting unnecessarily. Either your partner really didn’t deserve to be outted or you’re willing to put yourself through the yo-yo ride of romantic masochism. Regardless of the result, you made this bed of nails.
Why would you make a choice you didn’t want?
Bottom line: You broke up with them, there must be a reason. If the problem is them, you did the right thing, let them go. If the problem is you, then you don’t need a psychic.