When Your Client Triggers Your S**t


Whatever the scenario, it’s inevitable.

Example: You wake up, have your coffee, try to go on with life and then your boyfriend breaks up with you. Your day is shot to hell. All you can do is emote. All you can think about you and  him and, “Oh the pain! Oh that bastard” blah blah blah. But, you’re a consummate professional and you keep your appointments — But, sure enough, your client asks you:

“I have two guys just madly in love with me right now and I don’t know which one to pick. But, then again I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell my husband yet and my lover’s getting suspicious. It’s incredible how much attention I’m getting, isn’t it?!”

Murder is illegal, so you cannot kill them. Nor would it be wise to tell them to shut the hell up. You are there to serve.

Or you find out your wife’s cheating on you and your client asks, “Is my wife cheating on me?”

Ya gotta hate it when that happens…

It’s amazing what tricks the Universe can pull, I say.  There was one time a while ago when I realized how long it had been since I had some real good sex lovin’ and like some really twisted cosmic joke, my first client of the night wanted to discuss this hot threesome she had the night before…in graphic, tortuous, drooling — I mean grueling, detail.  I was in so much mental and physical pain, I was soooooo tempted to make believe there was a sudden, mysterious glitch with the phone line and get “accidentally” disconnected.

But, no! I am a professional, dagnabbit. I only disconnect those whom I believe embodies the manifestation of the Goddess of Discord. My clients are not here for me. It is not about me. They are not seeking my opinions, but my vision and my counsel and that is what I am very happily here for. I love them, I am grateful for them, and I do not tell them to shut up or try to kill them.

No matter how tempting…

But, seriously, sometimes it never fails; every time we’re having an “extra human” moment or we’re feeling particularly vulnerable, it seems like someone magically comes along to rub salt in the wound.

OW – Quit it!

Many moons ago, I had an astrologer friend who had just heard that her mother was terminally ill and two nights later, no lie, she got a client who was recovering from the same ailment. My heart went out for her.  She said, “Ray, within the first three minutes of that session, I wanted to die. All I could hear was my mother. All I could feel was my mother’s pain and my grief.” Then she added, “But, after those first three minutes…it was the best session I ever had.”

“How?” I thought. How can one possibly give an objective, constructive service when your pain or your sensitivities are being thrown in your face?

Well, first and foremost: It’s not about you.  Whether your client has a lifestyle that you object to, practices a faith that you find offensive, or has an antagonistic political belief that is very different from yours (yeah, I had a client once who called to see whether Gingrich was gonna win – gotta admit that made me wince a little), unless they are offending you directly by name, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that someone is seeking your counsel. You were chosen and you are given their trust to assist them to the best of your ability and they are a blessing.

Honor the blessing.

The second thing to remember: One size does not fit all. In other words, regardless of what our opinions may be or what we may have gone through, that doesn’t mean those lessons and views work for everyone. A great and most notorious example is the client who’s having an affair.  For most (not all) divinationists, especially the pros just starting out, it’s very hard to be objective with people who are being unfaithful to their spouses or who are obstructive to someone’s home. It touches a deep cord of honor and respect for commitment, as well as have the potential to tap into our own insecurities – or even drudge up our own memories.

But, what of the woman’s who’s a victim of abuse who is afraid for her life to leave her monster husband and has found someone who makes her feel beautiful and special? Or what about the man who left his wife years ago but she just simply refuses to sign the papers for whatever reason and he’s just clueless as to what to do? And hey, what about the polyamorous and the swingers?

Just because we don’t get it doesn’t mean they can’t…

Regardless, keep in mind that there are many, many different scenarios to any situation and it’s important to keep your personal judgments to yourself until you understand their whole story – OH! Which brings us to number three:

See this guy? Don’t be this guy.

You’re not there to judge them.  And as I stated before, they’re not paying for your opinions, either.  Nor do they want to hear about your problems, your personal war stories, or what you did last night.

Like them or not, understand them or not, it is all about them. Period.

Yes, you have the absolute right to refuse service to anyone! And if you feel you are truly not ready to help, then don’t! There’s nothing wrong with that, if you’re really following your heart.

However, before you turn away, you may wish to take a moment to think: If you’re that uncomfortable with the question, the personality, or the views of your querant, ask yourself exactly why you would refuse to help this human being? Is their way of life so offensive that you would disregard their place in the Universe for your own comfort or is there a chance that they may be reflecting something you find unacceptable within yourself?

Why would you refuse the opportunity to learn a new perspective?

You know, a good master learns as much as the pupil. So, every time we have a new client, we have the potential to grow, ourselves, because sometimes the cards or the message for them can be just as relevant to us – and you can’t get the message if you’re not willing to listen.

And in the deepest part of my heart and soul, I believe that we have to listen.  If we’re gonna talk the talk, we need to walk the walk.

So, when your blessing arrives or calls or texts, try putting your consciousness aside. You are a vessel, remember? A satellite dish.  Receive their answers, regardless of what they are, regardless of where they may lead, and enjoy the process of providing your clients the best, most loving service that you can.

Earn their trust and give them the clarity, comfort, and confirmation they seek cuz who knows? You just may get some for yourself, too…


About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, student, musician, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure and two beloved rescue cockatoos. She is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and the National Society of Leadership and Success (Sigma Alpha Pi). While pursuing her degree in Journalism/Media Studies at UNLV, she continues to contend that all things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact: verteram@unlv.nevada.edu
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4 Responses to When Your Client Triggers Your S**t

  1. Kitty W says:

    Hi. It has come to my attention that you have taken the top image in this post (of the tomato heart) from my Flickr page:- https://www.flickr.com/photos/kittywrinkle/4371872393/ without my permission. My original post was watermarked, and you have cropped out that watermark. I respectfully ask that you respect my creativity and remove this image from your page.


    • Ms. Ray says:

      My sincerest apologies — no harm is ever intended on this blog in any way. However, please be assured as an artist myself, I do not alter images, especially removing watermarks. If it had one, by all that is sacred, I would not have used it.

      Thank you very much for bringing the matter to my attention. The photo, per your request, has been respectfully removed.

      I wish you all the best and many blessings in your artistic endeavors!


      • Kitty says:

        Thank you for your quick and polite response. I could tell from the tone of your blog that you were not someone who would intentionally take advantage of me. I am currently attempting to manage the consequences of a graphic artist stealing one of my images & selling it on for commercial use; which is why I was trawling the Internet seeking to clear up anything else that was ‘out there’. Many thanks again for your efficiency and good wishes. Take care.


      • Ms. Ray says:

        Go get ’em!!!


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