Want Love? Get Real!

“Oh baby you’re so perfect…as long as you don’t move, don’t say anything, and I don’t wake up!”

Romance is a marketable gold mine.

The men are shown time and time again they will be rewarded with their very own bikini beauty for their great heroic deeds, while the women are promised Prince Charming will save them from the despair of loneliness forever if they keep wishing upon that evening star. The media loves to throw terms like “soul mate” and “twin flames” around like “love cocaine” and the western world has become addicted to the possibility of their very own real-life fantasy.

“You mean if I wear the right clothes, fit the right size, and wish real hard then I’ll find that one man who…?”

But, according to nationwide eating disorder demographic statistics, only 2% of the American and European population have the body structure of a runway model and “charming” has become synonymous with “creepy.” The disappointment of the Hollywood promises make us bitter, impatient, and hopeless. The women scramble and kill themselves trying to make themselves into the trophies we’re told we’re supposed to be and the men dismiss their own desires and needs for someone else’s expectations, therefore, no one’s satisfied.

That’s right, boys — this dream girl can be yours! (Airbrush not included…)

“Why doesn’t she look like a playboy bunny?!”

“Where the fuck is my goddamn soul mate?!”

Enter the quantum era where you can find all your dreams come true with a push of a button and you can talk to anyone in the world as quick as a snap of your fingers. Can’t find your trophy in the real world? Can’t find your “twin flame” at the supermarket? Get online!

Everyone’s perfect here on the “world wide interwebs!”

The women are always hot, horny, and humble and the men are strong, sexy, studs, (but only for you, baby). The sex is STD free and you can enjoy the “intimacy” of a “real relationship” with someone hundreds of miles away forever, while still do whatever you want because they’ll never know!

We’re fed fantasy, we expect fantasy, we become fantasy – which would be great if we actually were fantasy.

But, we need and we bleed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, online and networking is awesome for meeting people! It has allowed us more opportunities and increased our odds of finding a successful match. But, beware of staying behind that monitor for too long…

Nature doesn’t waste.  Everything we are provided with when we are brought into this world is given for a reason. The human touch releases endorphins and hormones that keep us healthy. The smells and the sights trigger instinctive, communal responses that tell us where and with whom we belong.  Touch is ecstasy, but now the pleasures of the taste and  embrace of true human contact is replaced by sight and sound alone, where it is safe.

Safe from disappointment.

Safe from responsibility.

Safe from reality.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had calls from women crying because they moved their homes, jobs, children, and lives to the homeplace of their long-distance love of 1, 2,  or even 3 years, only to find themselves rejected.

Here’s the kicker: Reality’s really not that bad.

Science ensures us that we all fall in love, even multiple times, in fact! Mass media and the entertainment industry only exposes less than 1% of humankind, so imagine how many other beautiful people there are out there who just don’t have a camera in front of their faces. And if you stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be attracted to and truly follow your own heart, you can find a connective, fun love that you can enjoy with all of your senses at the same time.  Listen more, pay some attention, give a little respect, and don’t worry so much about the future and you’ll be amazed what life has to offer…

Better than chat.

There’s nothing wrong with reaching for the stars. But, real love is found right here on Earth.


About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, student, musician, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure and two beloved rescue cockatoos. She is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and the National Society of Leadership and Success (Sigma Alpha Pi). While pursuing her degree in Journalism/Media Studies at UNLV, she continues to contend that all things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact: verteram@unlv.nevada.edu
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