The Dangers of Counseling Denial

Yes, "the Nile" is indeed a river in Egypt. Unfortunately, "de-nial" is not nearly as enriching or valuable.

Yes, “the Nile” is indeed a river in Egypt. Unfortunately, “de-nial” is not nearly as enriching or valuable.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Right. That’s why we say, “The pen is mightier than the sword,” people have killed themselves because of the damage from bullying, and we have defamation laws…

Make absolutely no mistake: Words have power. Tremendous power. Learn it, know it, live it, love it.

In fact, Dr. Louise Hay proved to the world that you can actually heal your body by simply changing your thoughts and language patterns, which is how she basically cured herself of cancer over 20 years ago. She is the godmother of the “positive affirmation,” a technique that is actively used in modern and holistic medicine and there’s actually a lot more science behind the practice than people realize.

sound effects
Most simply put: Sound is created by movement. Movement creates energy waves and certain energy waves vibrate at different frequencies, therefore, certain tones, pitches, and volumes have a physiological effect. Words are comprised of organized sound, therefore, will have a physiological effect. So, of course, with this, one could easily come to the natural conclusion, “If we cut certain sounds out of our hearing range, then we’d be safe from harm.”

But, with that, we are essentially asking, “What if we censor life, itself?”  What if we ignore the cries of sick and hungry children because it’s unpleasant, or tune out the speaker on the soap box because we may not like the message, or burn the books, ban the music, kill the birds of prey, shoot the growling wolves, ignore the storms…?

Nazi Book Burning

And yet, that is exactly what some spiritual counselors advise. In fact, I’ve even heard from a number of accounts that there are some tarot specialists who actually go so far as to physically remove the “bad” cards from their decks! And why not? After all, Eilleen Connolly designed her entire tarot deck by “taking out all the violence.”

News flash: Life is violent.

Connolly's 8 of Wands doesn't necessarily denote speed or divine influence in movement, but rather someone dumping a bunch of sticks out their 2nd story window...

Connolly’s 8 of Wands doesn’t necessarily denote speed or divine influence in movement, but rather someone dumping a bunch of sticks out their 2nd story window…

Birth is violent; the bursting out of a soft, watery cocoon smacking into the traumatically freezing cold air, blinded by strange lights is violent. The ecstasy, trembling, grunting, and screaming of the orgasm is violent. The destruction of a virus, the tearing down a dangerous building, the ecological system itself, the purification of lightning hitting the trees and causing a forest fire, the typhoons, volcanoes, hurricanes, meteor showers, solar flares, the big bang itself was violent.

So, why would anyone dare remove it or deny it??

And there’s this article I read a few weeks ago, “Seven Words to Ditch In order to Improve Your Life.” These seven words are: “Nothing,” “ Afraid,” “Death,” “Can’t,” “Disappointed,” “Quit,” and (my personal favorite) “No.” He proclaims that these words feed into “negative emotions.”


So, if I’m in a job that is draining my energy and my resources and I’m essentially being abused, I shouldn’t say, “I quit?” And, if someone is crossing my boundaries, I shouldn’t say “No?” (Oh wouldn’t misogynists just love that!) In regards to “Disappointment,” the author advises, “When you constantly remind others of your disappointments it creates an infinite circle of negativity and damages your relationships. Relationships thrive off of positive energy, so ditch the negative talk and start expressing your wants and needs in a positive manner.”

Okay, then how would you know you what kind of “positive” changes you want if you don’t acknowledge what needs to be changed in the first place? That’s the role of disappointment. When you say it, you acknowledge it. Once you acknowledge what disappoints you, you can better understand what will not.

"I'm sorry I can't come into work, there's been a dea -- I mean a 'change' in the family."

“I’m sorry I can’t come into work, there’s been a dea — I mean a ‘change’ in the family.”

Furthermore, according to the author and other practitioners of “censorship for healing” apparently believe that “Death” is a “negative” aspect, even though it is a part of the grand design of Nature. Seriously, do they think we should just forget its existence and it will go away and there will be no more grief or relief? I guess we’ll just call it “Change” now. “My mother was in the hospital and Changed a few months ago. We’ll surely miss her.” Yeah that’ll work… Is there no healing in destruction? Try telling that to the people of Berlin – perhaps they’ll remind you of a certain wall that used to stand there.

Imagine having a reading without the possibility of revolution or the option of being warned about obstacles that may be keeping you from your goals because the Tower and the Devil have been removed from the deck.


“Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” is doing evil. If someone comes to you looking for enlightenment, what good are you doing when you advocate ignorance?  That’s like someone taking their car in for a flat tire and the mechanic suggests that they remove all the wheels so it won’t happen again.

stormtroopers no evil

The one concept that seems to get lost on some is that a concept is just a concept. A quality is just a quality. There is no “good” or “bad” anything, it just is. However, how that quality or concept is applied determines the benefit or detriment.

For example: Majick, the use of natural resources and intent in order to promote a change. Now, some people still use the terms “black majick” and “white majick.” Both are actually erroneous. Majick is majick. It’s like a flame, which is neither bad, good, indifferent, white, black, or anything. It is what it is. Now, you can use that flame to heat your stove in order to warm your hearth or cook your food. You can use that flame to light your candles or your incense. Or you can use that flame to set someone’s hair on fire or torch your house.

See the difference?

The Death card is the Death card. The word “should” is just the word “should.” A Feeling is a Feeling. Nothing more, nothing less. But, how they’re interpreted and applied is what determines their power.  So, to omit, censor, defy, ignore, or deny anything is to take away our power.

Fear is always a messenger, never a master — and it’s not always right!  The only purpose of fear is to alert us that our sense of security or existence is at risk. That is all. So, when we are in denial, we lose our ability to adapt or cope with the unknown and natural processes of life because we are closing ourselves off from illumination. When we ignore, we are limiting our options for healing and finding freedom. When we succumb to fear, we cannot see, we cannot hear, so we have no access to information from which we could process a choice. Therefore, we cannot act, we cannot move. We become trapped. We become enslaved.

And that is the worst evil that anyone can do.



About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, student, musician, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure and two beloved rescue cockatoos. She is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and the National Society of Leadership and Success (Sigma Alpha Pi). While pursuing her degree in Journalism/Media Studies at UNLV, she continues to contend that all things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact:
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2 Responses to The Dangers of Counseling Denial

  1. fisswhisp says:

    In the Brian Froud fairy deck there’s actually a card that deals with this… “Well, you decided to close your eyes to everything ‘negative,’ which includes admitting when things in your life are old and worn out, harmful, or just not working. As such, destruction will gladly pay *you* a visit to bust open this idea of control you think you have.” I love that deck so hard.


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