How A Complete Novice Might Interpret The Tarot For the First Time

THE FOOL – “You’re stupid.”

THE MAGICIAN – “Someone’s trying to be tricky.”
THE HIGH PRIESTESS – “Your mom…or Cher.”
THE EMPRESS – “Definitely a queen.”
THE EMPEROR – “Tough guy.”
THE HIEROPHANT – “I don’t know, looks like the pope.”
THE LOVERS – “Gettin’ some!”
THE CHARIOT – “New car!”
STRENGTH – “Don’t stick your head where it doesn’t belong.”
WardTHE HERMIT – “You should get out more.”
WHEEL OF FORTUNE – “Go gambling! But, why are those animals reading books?”
TEMPERANCE – “Have a drink, chill out. Be nice.”
JUSTICE – “You might get arrested. But, it’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
HANGED MAN – “I have no idea what the fuck that is…”
DEATH – “Okay, now I’m totally freaked out…”
THE TOWER – “Oh…that’s it. I’m done. This is just crazy shit now!”
THE STAR – “See? Now there’s some naked chick. What the hell is that supposed to be?! Who comes up with this stuff??”
THE MOON – “At night.”

THE SUN – “Happy!”
THE WORLD – “Uh…the world. Right?”

"Uh huhuh...look. That one's got boobs."

“Uh huhuh…look. That one’s got boobs.”



About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, student, musician, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure and two beloved rescue cockatoos. She is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and the National Society of Leadership and Success (Sigma Alpha Pi). While pursuing her degree in Journalism/Media Studies at UNLV, she continues to contend that all things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact:
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