How A Complete Novice Might Interpret The Tarot For the First Time

major-arcana
THE FOOL – “You’re stupid.”

THE MAGICIAN – “Someone’s trying to be tricky.”
THE HIGH PRIESTESS – “Your mom…or Cher.”
THE EMPRESS – “Definitely a queen.”
THE EMPEROR – “Tough guy.”
THE HIEROPHANT – “I don’t know, looks like the pope.”
THE LOVERS – “Gettin’ some!”
THE CHARIOT – “New car!”
STRENGTH – “Don’t stick your head where it doesn’t belong.”
WardTHE HERMIT – “You should get out more.”
WHEEL OF FORTUNE – “Go gambling! But, why are those animals reading books?”
TEMPERANCE – “Have a drink, chill out. Be nice.”
JUSTICE – “You might get arrested. But, it’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
HANGED MAN – “I have no idea what the fuck that is…”
DEATH – “Okay, now I’m totally freaked out…”
THE DEVIL – “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!”
THE TOWER – “Oh…that’s it. I’m done. This is just crazy shit now!”
THE STAR – “See? Now there’s some naked chick. What the hell is that supposed to be?! Who comes up with this stuff??”
THE MOON – “At night.”

THE SUN – “Happy!”
JUDGEMENT – “ZOMBIES!!!!”
THE WORLD – “Uh…the world. Right?”

"Uh huhuh...look. That one's got boobs."

“Uh huhuh…look. That one’s got boobs.”

 

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About T. Ray

Writer, visual artist, musician, divinationist, playwright, and "armchair nutritionist." She currently resides in Vegas with her jenday conure, is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists and is pursuing her Master's in Journalism/Media Studies. All things come down to food and Star Wars. Contact: contact@theblacksiren.com
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