How many times have we cried from the rooftops, “I’ve found ‘the one’!”
How many times have we decreed that we have definitively, finally found our path only to reach a dead end? Now, we’re not only faced with the grief of a heartache, we have the embarrassment to face our friends and loved ones who have been cheering us on.
The feeling of stupidity exacerbates the grief.
Though there is no surefire majick remedy to cure grief because only time can take care of that, there is one stone you can remove from your neck: Failure does not make you stupid.
If you have truly put in the work and you know in your heart you did everything you could to make sure things stayed on track and it still derailed, that is not stupid. In fact, that is not even really failure.
Imagine you’re a musician, pick an instrument. And you find another musician. The two of you get together and write a song — but, not just any song, the song! The song you have wanted to write for years, but didn’t have all the notes. Yet, now, between the two of you, you got it. It sounds perfect. It’s beautiful. You rehearse and practice and every time you hear this song, it’s like majick.
The song is a hit and you know it.
So, the two of you decide it’s time to hit the stage. In front of you is a half-full house, which is pretty good for a new act. And you start to play that song until, without warning, your band member starts to play different chords.
You’re like, “Wha?”
But, your partner’s not paying attention to you, they’re just doing their own thing. You say to yourself, “This isn’t the song. This is not what we planned.” So, during the show, you smile to the audience and whisper in your partner’s ear, “What are you doing? That’s not what we practiced.”
“Trust me,” they say. “I know what I’m doing. Just follow my lead.”
So, being that your partner is not going to work with you, you are left with no choice but to start following their lead so that it doesn’t sound so cacophonous. But, now, it’s not the song anymore. It’s not even close. And you’re stuck up there on stage with this organized noise you did not sign up for.
Every time you try to change the jam’s direction, they make a sour note, hit a bad chord, or change their instrument. Finally, you say, “No. No more. This is not my song. I don’t belong here. This is not what we practiced and I’m not playing this anymore.”
They answer, “I didn’t do anything wrong. It must have been you.”
Don’t believe it.
Now, the “partner” in this example can be a lover, a friend, a career choice, a business partner, a new skill, or even an outside entity. It can be anything. But, no matter what the circumstance, there are just some things that are simply out of our control. You only do what you can by acting upon what you know and that is not stupid.
If you give a dream your everything, that is not stupid. If you tried, that is not failure. If you learned and still believe, then that is the essence of success, itself.
When we are on the right path, there are no obstacles. You have no reason to be embarrassed by failure. Sometimes “the one” is just that; the one step closer to your destiny.